Shortly after my embarrassing moment on Saturday, I was feeling crummier than ever. I wanted to hide from the universe, bury myself in a hole. I sat with my face in my hands, trying to imagine what Teric was thinking about me. In that moment, I hated myself worse than I ever had before. My self-esteem was plummeting to the ground when my parents noticed my odd behavior. Dad took me outside to talk.
"What's been bothering you?" Dad inquired as we sat down on the swing.
Just as I started to cry rain fell. It was silent except for the patter of rain and my stuttered breathing. The drops were larger and a breeze came in.
"I just want to be pretty," I sobbed.
My father's deep voice rumbled in reply, "And what difference does it make what you look like? The covers of magazines don't set the standards, and neither do Jr. High students. Some day you'll find a man to marry, and he'll think you're the prettiest thing alive," he put his arm around my damp shoulders. "There are so many people that love you very much. That's all that matters."
My tears collided with the raindrops on my cheeks. We watched the dark clouds move through the clouds as I cried. Soon the rain died down and the sun blazed through the leaves of our trees.
"And Tessa," Dad lifted my chin and I stared into his honest brown eyes, "Seeing you smile is the most beautiful thing in the world."
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Amen to what Dad said. I'm pretty sure he had this conversation with my once or a billion times. I never thought I find someone who loved me in every way, but I did and you will to. . . in 7 years. Let's not have any Jr. high weddings.
ReplyDeleteOh Tessa, I hope you realize how incredibley lucky you are to have a dad like that. I hope someday you will see in yourself what we all see..........you ARE beautiful. When I look in the mirror, I get scared sometimes, but I hope someone sees some beauty in me. Heavenly Father sure sees it in us. Let's start seeing it in ourselves. Love you!
ReplyDeleteYou are very lucky to have a dad like that. Mindy is right, we all need to see what Heavenly Father sees in us. And a boy will like you not just for your looks. I would get so frustrated before I met Ryan with boys and always feeling like I wasn't pretty enough... then I met Ryan and all of a sudden all that worrying didn't matter any more. I wish I had more patience and knew that one day it will only matter that ONE person loves me and thinks me beautiful. Just try to keep that in mind- as hard as it is. You are so great Tessa. Love you sweetie.
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