A couple years ago I had it right. I wasn't perfect, and my life wasn't perfect, but I was happy. I was confident with myself and my body. I was close to God and prayed every night. Almost everyone I met I treated as my friend and from that many of them were. I did things that I loved and was passionate about my hobbies. I wrote lots notes to people. I knew who I was and what I wanted to be.
A lot has changed and a lot of things have happened. It's hard. Because every Sunday morning when I can't find any skirts that fit me, and every day as I wander crowded school hallways and still feel so alone, I can't help but wonder, Am I ruined?
I went through this huge transformation in Jr High from a lost little girl to a sure-of-myself tween and apparently it was all for nothing because years later I'm here. It's that beat-up feeling, you know? I feel worn down. Can brown bananas turn yellow again? Can broken vases look the same after glued? Will I stay ruined forever?
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i completely understand. things are going to get better, i mean it. i know your world seems so dim, but your future has so much light. try reading this talk by elder uchtdorf. it totally changed my perspective. http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/of-regrets-and-resolutions?lang=eng&query=happy
ReplyDeleteYou are only ruined if you surrender to despair. You know what needs to be done to fix this situation. Now you just need to trust the Savior to help you. I believe in you!
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