Thursday, January 27, 2011

Trying to Cry

The past weeks have been crazy.

The beginning of January was better than ever. Everything fell into place, but everything took a sudden turn in the middle of the month.

Something was stuck. I wasn't even sure what it was, but it was there. I just needed to cry.

For days there were no tears, no red cheeks, but just that sick and empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I tried everything. I looked through my old journal entries about my former love, layed on my bed and stared up at the ceiling for a while, and even watched the movie "Charly" about four times. (For those of you who haven't seen it, it makes me cry every time I watch it.) Nothing worked.

Finally after a week of that feeling I watched "Marley and Me" Sunday morning. Let me tell you, I cried my eyes out. Not just wet eyes, but full on tears all over the place. You'd think I'd be sad after watching such a depressing movie, but I felt great! Relieved from what I carried throughout the entire week, I walked tall for the next few days.

But the rollercoaster dipped back down and today was not ideal. I failed my Geometry assignment because I didn't show my work, I was dead tired, and my Science teacher totally chewed me out for bringing my packet home to finish something I thought was due today.

I got home and decided to take some pictures in the backyard to relieve some stress.

I really miss that dog.

I just keep telling myself how wonderful the weekend is going to be... It's all going to be okay. And it's true. Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. Now I'm just trying to take this week one step at a time.


  1. I can't believe you could watch Charlie without crying! I know just hoe releiving it can be to have a good cry. One step at a time is all it takes my friend. I sure love you!!

  2. Those dang hormones are killer. I know what that's like. Chin up! Things will get better.

  3. I love the movie Charly too! And, I cry everytime too. You'll be ok I love yah Tess!

  4. A good cry is always needed somtimes. I am finally glad it came out.


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