I've had days this month that were really good. They were days that I felt pretty or I laughed with my friends or did good in school. But writing about those days almost seems like a waste. What is there to write about besides the fact that for no hugely significant reason, I was happy that day? On the contrary, you might say the same about the sad days, but on happy days I don't need to vent. On sad days all I need is to be heard, even if it's only by myself, seeing my own words typed out on the screen.
Today I walked home in the bitter cold after a hard day. A few tears were shed but then quickly dried up in the corners of my eyes, thanks to the freezing wind that also bit at my ears and tousled my up-do. I thought deeply about how hard 2013 has already proved to be. Through all of the hardship, I've been struggling with my relationship with God. I am often frustrated by the fact that there is not a single human being on this earth who knows what it's like to be me. They tell me that Jesus knows, but how can he possibly? I know about the Atonement, but it's still so hard to wrap my head around. I can't help but feel so very lonely on these days when I walk home alone in the cold.
4 weeks ago