I couldn't believe what was happening. I figured I'd make up my F before term ended, but it never occurred to me that the F could keep me from going on the Salt Lake Tour with Footnotes. On the ride home on Wednesday I ranted about it to my carpool, telling them all about my plan to fix my grades after school. My mom was really ashamed of me and dropped me off at home to work on it while she went Christmas shopping. As I sat down in the office chair in front of my stacks of paper I broke down in hysterical sobs. I felt like my life was worth nothing and not worth living anymore.
Later that evening I had a choir concert at the school. During our second concert we sang Prayer of the Children. The lyrics say:
"Can you hear the prayer of the children,
On bended knee, in the shadow of an unknown room?
Empty eyes with no more tears to cry,
Turning heavenward toward the light.
Cryin' who will help me to see the morning light of one more day?
But if I should die before I wake,
I pray my soul to take.
Can you feel the hearts of the children,
Aching for home, for something of their very own?
Reaching hands with nothing to hold on to,
But hope for a better day, a better day.
Cryin' who will help me to feel the love again in my own land?
But if unknown roads lead away from home,
Give me loving arms, away from harm.
Can you hear the voice of the children,
Softly pleading for silence in their shattered world?
Angry guns preach a gospel full of hate,
Blood of the innocent on their hands.
Cryin' Jesus help me to feel the sun again upon my face.
For when darkness clears, I know you're near,
Bringing peace again.
Can you hear the prayer of the children?"
My eyes again filled with tears and the words of the song all of the sudden meant so much more. I really needed a reminder of my everlasting friendship with the Savior that day.
And after hard work and fervent prayers, I'll be going to Salt Lake City tomorrow.