High school has been.... to put it simply... more than frustrating.
I had this dream of finding a super nice person and automatically becoming friends and being best friends for the rest of high school. I had a dream of fun classes and high grades and extracurricular activities.
Well... I haven't made any friends yet. I have talked to a few people that were my friends growing up that I hadn't seen for years, and I have made ONE new acquaintance, but that's it. There are no sparks flying between me and the people sitting next to me in ANY of my classes so far. Maybe I should just talk more.
Also with the start of this new life of mine, I've already given up on a lot of my dreams and ambitions. When I was forced out of Drawing because of Driver's Ed, I didn't try to get art back into my schedule. I simply concluded that I'm not going to be an artist when I grow up and I was never super amazing at art anyway. It was kind of a sad feeling, but I honestly didn't have room for it in my schedule. And I've given up on learning Spanish, too. I took Spanish all through elementary school, and even when I was accepted into the A.L.L. program at Foothill, I chose not to go so I could stay at Windsor and learn Spanish. But in eighth and ninth grade... I'm pretty sure I just got worse at it. And after only two periods of AP Spanish this year, I quickly realized if I stayed in that class I would end up with an ugly F on my transcript, so I'm transferring out.
I hate this feeling... the feeling of a "giver-upper"... but I really just wanted this year to be better than it has been. Maybe if I focus my efforts on less things I'll be more successful at each of them. I don't know.
All I know is that high school is really off to a rough start.
1 month ago