Thursday, December 9, 2010

Birthday Week

My eyes welled up with moisture to the point I began to sob. It was Friday afternoon, and someone that day had told me I was lazy, selfish, and couldn't do anything right. Insults hurt the most when you believe them. I lay there on the floor of my bedroom, wondering why I could never do anything right. I glanced over to my sketchbooks propped up against the wall. I reached for my newest one, opened the cover, and tore out any and every page that even mentioned a stupid boy I once knew. I bawled and crinkled pages while mumbling to myself how idiotic I had been and was being. I wrote on the next blank page in big letters, "I hate that no matter where I am I'm not good enough" and stuffed my sketchbook back up against the wall.
After my breakdown Braden and I did our chores while Mom was at work.

That evening Ally rescued me from my house but I was still so upset I lay on the floor of her bedroom with my arm covering my eyes while Ally cleaned her room. Once I had the ability to contain myself we walked to Macey's to buy our traditional stash of junk food.

Later in the evening we went to mutual to a live nativity. At the end as we were walking out there was a man in a costume on a horse. I went over to pet the horse. I scratched it's forehead and rubbed it's chin. Soon it had nuzzled it's face against my stomach as I gave him affectionate massages. I thought back to my sister's gorgeous horse, Fame, who died a short time ago. I realized my group was leaving and said goodbye to the horse to catch up.

Saturday was a crazy day. I left the sleepover at my friend's house and soon after found out this stupid boy had told her that I was telling him secrets about her or something, which I really did not understand. She sent me a message asking if she could trust me or not. After talking it over, we figured it out and my friend and I were back to normal.

Later my mom and I went shopping for clothes for her birthday present to me. I got a pair of jeans, a waist belt, and some earrings. While we were at Target I bought Taylor Swift's new album "Speak Now" with the money from my grandma. I. Love. It.

My actual birthday on Sunday was pretty boring.  It was fast Sunday, so I couldn't go anywhere or eat anything. We ate dinner that night, though, and it was so delicious, I probably ate like thirds along with seconds.

It's Thursday, and since Sunday I've had four nosebleeds. This wintery dry air thing is getting ridiculous.

1 comment:

  1. Theres not too many moments when it's classy to insult someone. Sometimes people are horrible, but that doesn't mean we should tell them that and insult them. I'm not saying their insults were true, in fact they are false, I'm just saying theres no good excuse to insult someone. Don't let the words of non-classy people get to you, they're not worth the tears.

    I bet your new clothes are super cute, and I'm glad you're enjoying you're new CD!


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