Being the Baby Sister

There's a big age gap in my family. You have Braden and I, then you have the "big kids", as we call them, at ages 23, 23, and 21. Sometimes this can be a good thing... but sometimes this can be a bad thing.

I have always been attached to one of my amazing older sisters, Kayla. When I was grounded when I was little, I used to cry out her name for her to come save me even though she never could. She painted my toenails, read me books before I went to bed, and even though we probably both complained about each other at times, I loved that girl to death.

A few months back I found myself in a very trying time. And one of the things that bothered me the most about it was that I wasn't even sure what happened, I just knew something wasn't right. I talked to so many different people, all with different advice. But the exact conversation that meant the most to me was the one I had with Kayla. She didn't just tell me to get over it and move on, but she helped me understand the situation, which was exactly what I needed. She related to me in such a personal way that I will never forget it.

I want to be there for her, too. I want to be able to comfort her and talk to her and give her advice. But I'm the baby sister, and I guess that's just not what they do.

Kayla has a been a mom for about three months. And in three months time you'd be surprised how much sisters can grow apart. I can't relate to having a baby that doesn't sleep through the night. I can't relate to paying bills or staying home all day or revolving around a child's eating schedule. She doesn't come over to our house to watch chick flicks with me or have girl talk. She comes over to be with someone who understands her-- Mom.

And I'm starting to feel like no matter how hard I try, I can't relate to Kayla. And without Kayla, I feel like there's no one else in this world who can relate to me.