This week I've started to question my mental state.
Ever since last Sunday when I broke of my friendships with Mr. So-and-so and pretty much the rest of my nerd herd, I've pretty much sat home alone all week. I've lost interest in some things that I used to do. I don't get dressed until about 3:00 in the afternoon, and when it gets to that point I don't even do my hair. I'll go 2 meals without eating and not even notice I'm hungry. I'm not super depressed or anything, just not really myself.
I think of all the fights we had. I think of how even after all of those fights we always stayed friends until two other girls convinced him I wasn't worthy of being his friend... Two girls I introduced him to. I think of how I always used to tell him my favorite songs. I wonder how long he had been planning to get rid of me. I wonder how many of the things he said were true. I think of how much we used to talk. I think of how I'll never talk to him again. It all eats at my heart.
But even when I'm not thinking about all that happened--or him--that feeling of rejection never goes away.