I was happy on Saturday. My closest friends gathered at my house for my birthday party. I was excited to have them all there, but a lot of my friends are really loud and my quieter friends seemed kind of awkwarded out. After the loudest, most out-of-key, and most hideous birthday song I've ever heard, I looked around at all of those girls whom I deeply care about. It makes me wish I had more TIME, you know? I wish I could better keep up with all of my friends, but there's just not enough days in the weekend. And after weekends pass and I see some of those beloved friends drift away, it just breaks my heart. I wish I could see their point of view. Is clinging to them totally in vain? Am I still something that they want in their lives? I can't be sure.
Today in church I had to leave all of my besties in Mia Maids and go to Laurels. The girls in Laurels are cool, but they kind of do their own thing. It's not their fault that there's a year age difference between me and them. But I'm not really included in there and it's awkward. I wish I could stay with my younger friends.
I wish I could stay close with all of my friends. It's just hard.
3 weeks ago