A couple years ago I had it right. I wasn't perfect, and my life wasn't perfect, but I was happy. I was confident with myself and my body. I was close to God and prayed every night. Almost everyone I met I treated as my friend and from that many of them were. I did things that I loved and was passionate about my hobbies. I wrote lots notes to people. I knew who I was and what I wanted to be.
A lot has changed and a lot of things have happened. It's hard. Because every Sunday morning when I can't find any skirts that fit me, and every day as I wander crowded school hallways and still feel so alone, I can't help but wonder, Am I ruined?
I went through this huge transformation in Jr High from a lost little girl to a sure-of-myself tween and apparently it was all for nothing because years later I'm here. It's that beat-up feeling, you know? I feel worn down. Can brown bananas turn yellow again? Can broken vases look the same after glued? Will I stay ruined forever?