Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Hardest Thing to Say is Goodbye

I think I'm a curse.
April started out with the "passing" of my iPod. Her name was Jana. Walking home is so much more quiet. Cleaning the kitchen is so much more painful. Singing without a professional in the background feels incomplete. I miss that thing to death and now wake up to the obnoxious "BEEP BEEP"ing my stupid alarm makes.
Shortly after this tragedy my parents informed us that we were going to Texas to see our cousins. "How is this bad?" you ask. Just a couple days later our dreams were crushed. We weren't going. This made me miss my cousins even more. They had moved out of our house in November and I hadn't talked to or seen them since.
Well, what do you know? About a week later I had the most terrible nightmare I'd had in quite a while. In it I lost one of my best friends. I woke up extremely concerned until I realized it was dream. All day I still felt very cautious and sad.

Then today, May 2, 2010, I really did lose someone. Not to death, but one of my Beehive leaders was released from her calling. She and I had a special connection that went back to when I first joined the Young Women. I cried at church. I certainly made a spectical of myself sitting there bawling. Several leaders and other Young Women came over to attempt to comfort me. My leader and I cried together. We hugged for what seemed like hours. I almost thought my tears would leave stains on her dress. I turned cherry red and shook all over... a pathetic sight. When I finally left her and strolled down the hall to find my mother, I could feel people's eyes on me as I passed. Mom and I drove home to the sound of my stuttered breathing. When we pulled into my garage, I told the story, even back to the first day that leader and I met. I cried more than I knew I could. I lay on my bed for a while, thinking how much I'd miss her and what it would be like without her love and support. I still have amazing leaders and friends, but I'll always miss her. Goodbye Sister Mason.


  1. I'm sorry you are sad Tessa. I know it's hard to lose someone in any way. I'm glad you got to experience such love from Sister MAson. I'm sure she will miss you too. I am excited for the end of the year when I can work with you more closely in YW. I hope to show you as much love and hope you will know how much I already love you. I'm grateful for your list of 25 things. It will help me in my quest of making you happy!! Have a happy day my dear. You are not a curse. Life is ever changing and that can be difficult for all of us!

  2. I'm looking forward to working with you, too! You already always manage to make me feel better. Thank you so much!

  3. Saying good-bye is one of the hardest things. I am sorry you were so sad about it. I know you and Sister Mason had a bond. You can still see her and I am excited to work with you more now that I am the counselor.

    What a disappointment about your visit to Texas and your ipod. It is easy to get attatched to an idea or an item. Mindy is right, it's not a curse, it is life and somtimes it is hard. Ihope you feel better, especially with a specific boy you have sat next to at lunch!!!

    Love you Tessa.


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