It seems everyone expresses their anger differently. Some people get quiet, some people hit things, some people yell. I go somewhere where no one will bug me and I cry. What is it about crying that is so relieving? I'm not sure if I'll ever understand my tender heart, but there's my problem.
Angry people frustrate me. I get angry when another's anger is affecting me in an unpleasant way. One type of anger I've experienced from someone was outward anger. Some people, when feeling upset, do everything they would have done in the first place... but with an unsettling attitude. One that makes you feel upset yourself. One that makes you feel like you aren't good enough.
Now, I don't just break out crying every time I get angry. Every frustration I hold in and keep until one thing won't fit in the system and it sets me off. Then the tears start flowing and no one knows what is wrong with me.
I was wandering the house working on my Saturday chores when I had a fit of crying and my mother asked me what was wrong. I let everything that was bothering me flow out of my mouth, whether it was needed to be said or not. I feel bad for hurting her this way. Soon the both of us were crying, hugging and begging forgiveness.
My gut hasn't felt right since then.
I don't want to feel selfish and ungrateful, but I do. I feel like my mother doesn't receive enough credit for all of the things she does for my family, our friends, and our ward.
I love you, Mom, and I hope you'll forgive me for being a teenager.
4 weeks ago