I was mad at my mother, and I thought some terrible things. I wondered, Why am I me? Why isn't my life as good as his or hers? Why doesn't anyone love me? I lay on my bed that Sunday evening, and suddenly, I was looking up scriptures. I was searching for answers, expecting a splash of cold water in my face and to realize I'd been wrong all along. I did find an answer, just not as quickly as I thought.
I was bored that Monday afternoon when I looked through the box. I never knew what my mom's small box was for. I found it was full of goals. Paper after paper... places she wanted to go, things she wanted to do, projects she wanted to finish. I came accross a list titled "If I knew I couldn't fail I would..." My eyes welled up with tears as I read, "Help Tessa find her best self." She really does care about me, I thought, I'm such a terrible daughter. In a flash, I wrote her an apology letter. She told me she cried through the whole thing.
Wednesday seemed to pass normally until the fireside. I all of the sudden felt strangely outgoing. As a lot of you know, I get really shy around lots of people I don't know. But for some reason, I just started talking to everyone. I talked to the leaders, I made friends with a younger girl, and I felt amazing. In my spurt of socialism, I recieved many compliments. One person said I was funny and entertaining. Another said she couldn't help but stare at my "beautiful eyes."
I was happy. It wasn't the happiness that you get when something good happens to you, it's being uplifted in spirit. Feeling free. And no matter what disappointing thing happened to me, I felt so good. I was purely happy to exsist.
I'm Tessa Elizabeth Hatchett, I live on this BEAUTIFUL earth, and I know the greatest people to ever live. I've found my best self.
And I absolutely, positively, LOVE my mother and will for forever and longer.
4 weeks ago