I'm swimming in this huge pool of thoughts. Millions of drops of water fill the pool, and it only gets deeper at the end. I'm not very good at swimming, though, but I'm trying to learn. All of the different moves and strokes... With the right technique you can easily swim around in the deep end without worry.
But I'm becoming afraid. I swing my arms and paddle my legs. I try all of the different things I've been taught, but my head keeps going under the water. I try to push the water down, I move my arms frantically, I'm gasping for air.
I'm trying to do what's right, but it all ends up wrong. Why must I always learn things the hard way? I can't breathe. Water goes up my nose, causing considerable discomfort. I flail in the water, reaching for the surface. My hands reach up to the sun, longing to feel it's warm rays. Images of other swimmers are blurred, and my eyes eventually go dark and I sink to the bottom.
I just want to do something right for once. I want to be someone people look up to rather than despise. I'm drowning, sinking hopelessly to the bottom, and no one can save me. I hate this feeling.
4 weeks ago