I've been feeling weird lately. I go from being sincerely happy to annoyed to sad in the same day... I don't even know. Some kid threw something at me at lunch. Have you noticed that once someone says something hurtful to you, EVERYTHING they do is annoying?? Yeah. I have. Gosh.
ANYWAY, I wrote a blog post while sitting in a computer lab at school with free time.
A cool breeze flows through the noisy computer lab. I sit in my plastic chair, thinking. Nothing more than thoughts winding around my brain cells confusing my mind. Too many thoughts. Not enough space. I want to yell to the world… everything I’m thinking. Just to get it out. I don’t know how to feel or what to say.
I shouldn’t be so lovesick. I’M ONLY THIRTEEN. But every time I hear his voice over anyone else’s, I know there’s nothing I can do about it. That is, nothing that doesn’t involve sacrifice. My life would be nothing without him. I wouldn’t dream at night, my friends would have nothing to tease me about, I wouldn’t find joy in the simplest things like high-fives or just saying hello. But I guess that’s selfish of me.
“On my own, pretending he’s beside me. . . Without me, his world will keep on turning. A world that’s full of happiness that I have never known! . . . I love him. But only on my own.” –On My Own from Les Miserables
I feel like I don’t know how to put what’s in my head into spoken words. I know what to say, but when I open my mouth nothing happens. The sentences disappear and the sounds fly away from me, taunting me with the desire to speak.
Oh, the woes of life!!!
Okay here’s a better song… “Got my dreams, got my life, got my love. Got my friends, got the sunshine above! Why am I making this hard on myself when there’s so many beautiful reasons I have to HAPPY?” –Happy by Natasha Bedingfield
There. Who has optimism NOW??? Heh heh… I’m just a bit hyper. Mood swings, gotta love ‘em.