Friday, September 24, 2010

Mood Swings

I've been feeling weird lately. I go from being sincerely happy to annoyed to sad in the same day... I don't even know. Some kid threw something at me at lunch. Have you noticed that once someone says something hurtful to you, EVERYTHING they do is annoying?? Yeah. I have. Gosh.

ANYWAY, I wrote a blog post while sitting in a computer lab at school with free time.
A cool breeze flows through the noisy computer lab. I sit in my plastic chair, thinking. Nothing more than thoughts winding around my brain cells confusing my mind. Too many thoughts. Not enough space. I want to yell to the world… everything I’m thinking. Just to get it out. I don’t know how to feel or what to say.
I shouldn’t be so lovesick. I’M ONLY THIRTEEN. But every time I hear his voice over anyone else’s, I know there’s nothing I can do about it. That is, nothing that doesn’t involve sacrifice. My life would be nothing without him. I wouldn’t dream at night, my friends would have nothing to tease me about, I wouldn’t find joy in the simplest things like high-fives or just saying hello. But I guess that’s selfish of me.

“On my own, pretending he’s beside me. . . Without me, his world will keep on turning. A world that’s full of happiness that I have never known! . . . I love him. But only on my own.” –On My Own from Les Miserables

I feel like I don’t know how to put what’s in my head into spoken words. I know what to say, but when I open my mouth nothing happens. The sentences disappear and the sounds fly away from me, taunting me with the desire to speak.

Oh, the woes of life!!!

Okay here’s a better song… “Got my dreams, got my life, got my love. Got my friends, got the sunshine above! Why am I making this hard on myself when there’s so many beautiful reasons I have to HAPPY?” –Happy by Natasha Bedingfield

There. Who has optimism NOW??? Heh heh… I’m just a bit hyper. Mood swings, gotta love ‘em.


  1. You make me laugh! Yes, the fun mood swings- something that will never end as a female!

  2. Hold in there Tessa! Your first love is always that way. I hope that you can find joy in life through other things than just him. Discover your talents and embrace them. You have an amazing gift in your love for learning. You will go far with it!I just know it!Your world will change so much in the next five years. I hope you have a better week next week! Love ya!


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