"Get over him."
"He's just a stupid boy."
"You never really knew him."
I was growing tired of these lines over and over. No one ever understood. It was a little thing, but for me, it was so much bigger than that. I'm a dreamer. I create worlds for myself. I created this fantasy for myself... The high fives, the smiles, the stops at my locker, it was all part of this big daydream. And when he left, it was just that much more devestating. People are always saying it wasn't really a big deal, as if expecting me to drop it and move on. I have been moving on, but slower than I would a stubbed toe.
But today was a big turning point. A big realization to who he really is. An alarm waking me from my slumber and my dreams. I found out he was talking about me behind my back. Telling people I was a stalker, and teasing this other guy for liking someone like me. Finding this information before would have brought me to tears, but my heart swelled up not into my eyes, but into my head.
In my moments of annoyance, he happened to say hello to me on Gmail. I confronted him about his actions and he began respond with short replies such as "ok" and "yeah" as I asked him to not turn into a jerk and to keep rude opinions to himself. He said he was sorry but I knew he wasn't, and I was too outraged to care even if he was.
He's selfish, he's inconsiderate, and he's proud of it. If that's who he wants to be that's fine with me, I just don't have to be a part of it anymore. I don't have to sit and cry every time someone brings him up. I don't have to think of him in every song I listen to.
4 weeks ago