Monday, November 22, 2010

I'm Done

"Get over him."
"He's just a stupid boy."
"You never really knew him."

I was growing tired of these lines over and over. No one ever understood. It was a little thing, but for me, it was so much bigger than that. I'm a dreamer. I create worlds for myself. I created this fantasy for myself... The high fives, the smiles, the stops at my locker, it was all part of this big daydream. And when he left, it was just that much more devestating. People are always saying it wasn't really a big deal, as if expecting me to drop it and move on. I have been moving on, but slower than I would a stubbed toe.

But today was a big turning point. A big realization to who he really is. An alarm waking me from my slumber and my dreams. I found out he was talking about me behind my back. Telling people I was a stalker, and teasing this other guy for liking someone like me. Finding this information before would have brought me to tears, but my heart swelled up not into my eyes, but into my head.

In my moments of annoyance, he happened to say hello to me on Gmail. I confronted him about his actions and he began respond with short replies such as "ok" and "yeah" as I asked him to not turn into a jerk and to keep rude opinions to himself. He said he was sorry but I knew he wasn't, and I was too outraged to care even if he was.

He's selfish, he's inconsiderate, and he's proud of it. If that's who he wants to be that's fine with me, I just don't have to be a part of it anymore. I don't have to sit and cry every time someone brings him up. I don't have to think of him in every song I listen to.

I'm done.

4 comments:

  1. Oh Tessa, the world of boys is so frustrating. Some people don't hurt easily, but people like me and I think you, feel things very deeply. We love deeply, but that means a deeper hurt. I'm sorry for your negative experience. I am glad you can be done. There will be many more boys and many more hurts. Hang on to your friends. They are the ones who will become the constants along with your beautiful family. You have a tender, sweet heart, Tessa. I love that about you!!

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  2. Tessa.... I have known Teric since kindergarten and I already knew he was a jerk. WEll mostof us who ever knew him, knows he is a jerk. He is a jerk to everyone and should really stop, but it is almost like he doesn't care who he hurts. It is really annoying. I am gald you are done getting hurt by this jerk. I feel bad that you had to come to know his jerkiness in the first place.

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  3. I said it before, a few posts ago.

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  4. I don't like it when people think that whatever you are going through doesn't matter and to "just get over it" Whatever it is you are feeling and experiencing is for you and you only. So, sorry people were saying that kind of stuff. It does hurt and with time you will completely heal. Stay close to the Lord, keep praying and reading your scriptures.

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